Just Like Romeo and Juliet
by Snape No Koibito
Summary: read and find out. m/m
1. Default Chapter Title

WARNING: This fic contains implied m/m sex. I do not want ANY emails telling me how you don't like this kind of stuff. If you do not like it, don't read the damn story. It's that simple. Honestly, if you don't like this stuff, and read it anyways… well, that just makes you an idiot if you flame me. All flames will be met with Hanson mp3s of "MMMBop". If you can't say something intelligent, keep your mouth shut. I have no tolerance for flames.

Cast (in order of appearance)

Seamus Finnigan…………Sampson

Dean Thomas.……………Gregory

Marcus Flint.…………….Abraham

Blaise Zabini…………….Balthasar

Vincent Crabbe………….Benvolio

Fred Weasley……………Tybalt

Sirius Black……………..Capulet

Remus Lupin……………Lady Capulet

Severus Snape…………..Montague

Steven Vector………….. Lady Montague

Albus Dumbledore…….. Prince Escalus

Draco Malfoy………….. Romeo

Hagrid…………………..Paris

Madam Pomphry……….Juliet's nurse

Harry Potter…………….Juliet

Gregory Goyle………….Mercutio

AN: This is the casting up to and including most of Act I Scene IV.

Title: Just like Romeo and Juliet

Author: Snape no miko

Rating: (G- NC-17 maybe]

Spoilers: Oh come on! Everyone's read Romeo and Juliet! 

Warnings: Watch for falling ro- oops. Wrong warning… um… how about

construction ahead?

Summery: Draco and Harry find a love for each other as the tension between

the two houses grow. For all intents of keeping this in the slash category,

and my attempts to avoid het if at all possible, McGonagall isn't head of

Gryffindor. Sirius is. You know. Poetic license. Yeah…

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, and I most definitely did NOT write the original Romeo and Juliet… just look at what I'm doing now! We all know Shakespeare isn't this twisted!

Note: The cast list above is just to say whose in whose roles. Seamus isn't really Sampson, that's just the approximate role he has in this conflict. Harry and Draco are in their seventh years, because I don't feel like reading under aged stuff at the moment. 

Dedication: To Kristin, for pushing me to write this, bashing me over the head, keeping my headaches away, making me laugh, and running around with

me despite my weirdness. I'll convert you to slash yet.


	2. Default Chapter Title

WARNING: This fic contains implied m/m sex. I do not want ANY emails telling me how you don't like this kind of stuff. If you do not like it, don't read the damn story. It's that simple. Honestly, if you don't like this stuff, and read it anyways… well, that just makes you an idiot if you flame me. All flames will be met with Hanson mp3s of "MMMBop". If you can't say something intelligent, keep your mouth shut. I have no tolerance for flames.

[Enter Dean and Seamus, of the house of Gryffindor, with wands and bags.]

Seamus: Dean, on my word, we'll not carry coals.

Dean: No, for then we shall be colliers.

Seamus: Big word. No, we won't.

Dean: Ay, while you live, draw your neck out 'o the collar.

Seamus: Stop that! I strike quickly when I want to.

Dean: *snrk* But though art not quickly moved to strike.

Seamus: *rolls eyes and sighs* A dog of the house of Slytherin moves me.

Dean: To move is to stir, and to be valiant is to stand, therefore, if thou

art moved, thou runnest away.

Seamus: A dog of that house shall move me to stand! I will take the wall of

any

boy or girl of Slytherin's!

Dean: That shows a weak Gryffindor, for the weakest goes to the wall.

Seamus: 'Tis true, and therefore women, being the weaker vessels, are ever

thrust into the wall, therefore I will push Snape's boys from the wall and

thrust his girls into it. 

Dean: This quarrel is between Black and Snape, not us. 

Seamus: My God! You spoke in English!

Dean: So I did... weird...

Seamus: Yeah, well I'll show myself to be a tyrant! When I have fought with

the guys, I'll be cruel with the ladies, and cut off their heads!

Dean: The heads of the ladies? That's sick Seamus!

Seamus: I know.

Dean: Whatever.

Seamus: Yes, the heads of the ladies, or the maidenheads... take it how you

want.

Dean: They'll take it how they feel.

Seamus: They shall feel it while I'm able to stand. Everyone knows I'm a

hottie.

Dean: Yes, you are, and as much as I love you...

Seamus: What is it?

Dean: Ready your wand, here come two Slytherins!

[Enter Flint and Blaise]

Seamus: My wand is out! Go on, fight them! I'll be right behind you!

Dean: Yeah, you'll be about two corridors behind me, coward.

Seamus: Nuh-uh!

Dean: Whatever.

Seamus: Fine. Let's do what we always do.

Dean: Try to take over the world?

Seamus: No! *glares*

Dean: Fine. I'll frown at them, and they can take it however they wish.

Seamus: I'll slip them the birdie, and see if they get mad.

Flint: Did you just flip me off?

Seamus: I did give the sign...

Flint: Yeah, I know that, but did you do that to us, shorty?

Seamus: Ca I say yes?

Dean: No.

Seamus: No, I didn't flip you off, my finger's jammed.

Dean Do you wanna argue it?

Flint: Nah.

Seamus: If you do, I'm in as good a house as you are.

Flint: No better.

Seamus: Hmph.

[Enter Crabbe]

Dean: [aside to Seamus] Say better. here comes one of my master's kinsman.

Seamus: Yes, better, sir.

Flint: You lie.

Seamus: If you're man enough... draw. Dean, remember that one move you do

so well.

[They fight]

Crabbe: Part fools! [beating down their weapons] Put up your wands, you

don't know what your doing.

[Enter Fred]

Fred: What are you doing? Turn around Crabbe, and look at death!

Crabbe: I'm stopping the fight! Put away that wand, or use it to make them

depart.

Fred: What? You have your wand out, and say you're STOPPING the fight? I

hate you, I hate your mouth, I hate Slytherin! Prepare to die!

[They fight]

[Enter several of both houses, who join the fray, then enter the

Hufflepuffs with clubs]

[Enter Sirius and Remus]

Sirius: What noise is this? Give me my wand, Remus!

Remus: It's just a crutch. Why do you need your wand anyway?

Sirius: Snape's here, and he has his out.

Remus: If he jumped off a bridge, would you follow?

Sirius: No!

Remus: Point proved. You're not getting the wand.

[Enter Snape and Steven (Vector)]

Snape: It's Black! Let go of me, love!

Steven No, I will not let you fight them.

[Remus and roll their eyes at each other.]

[Enter (Dumbledore) with his entourage]

Albus: Put down your wands! Will you not listen! Stop this fighting! That's

three times you've disturbed the halls. If you do it again, it's three

months of detention for everyone I catch! Sirius, come with me. Severus,

you come down after dinner. Go on, back to class.

[Everyone leaves but Snape, Steven, and Crabbe]

Snape: Who started it this time? Speak, Crabbe. Did you do it?

Crabbe: Dean and Seamus were fighting with Flint and Blaise. I told them to

stop, and go their separate ways, when along came Fred, and he had out his

wand. He said stuff to me, and our battle begun. Then other people came

and fought, and Dumbledore told them all to eat rot.

Steven: [to Snape] You have to find a way to get rid of that charm Granger

put on him. It's bothering me.

Snape: Sorry.

Steven: Have you seen? I'm glad he wasn't fighting…

Crabbe: He's been up at the lake, for goodness' sake! I went walking an

hour before dawn, when a troubled mind drave me to walk abroad. I saw him

there, and went to him, and he told me [there is a flash of light from

Snape's wand] to shove off, he didn't want to see anybody, and he hasn't

been showing up for classes. Thanks Professor. 

Snape: You were getting on my nerves.

Crabbe: He ran into the woods, and he won't even speak to you, he said.

Snape: He's been out there nearly every morning for so long, I've seen him

crying. Then he comes back, locks himself up in his room, and doesn't eat. 

Crabbe: Professor, what's wrong with him?

Snape: No, and he won't tell me either.

Crabbe: You've asked him?

Snape: Yes, and so has the rest of the staff, but he's so secretive… I wish

he'd say something.

[Enter Draco]

Crabbe: He's coming. I'll ask him, so go away.

Steven: Come on Severus… I have something we need to do. [smiles lewdly]

Snape: Okay! Good luck, Crabbe.

[Snape and Steven leave]

Crabbe: Good morning, Draco.

Draco: [looking surprised] Is the day so young?

Crabbe: [rolls eyes] It's nine o' clock. 

Draco: Sad hours seem so long. Was that Professor Snape who bolted out of

here like a scared rabbit?

Crabbe: More like a horny fox, but yes, it was. What makes you so sad?

Draco: I'm…

Crabbe: In love?

Draco: Out—

Crabbe: Of love?

Draco: Out of his favor, where I am in love.

Crabbe: You? Draco Malfoy? In love?

Draco: Yes. Alas, that love, whose view is muffled still, Should without

eyes see pathways to his will! Where shall we dine? O me! What fray was

here? Yet tell me not, for I have heard it all. Here's much to do with

hate, but more with love: Why then, O brawling love! O loving hate! O any

thing, of nothing first crested! O heavy lightness! Serious vanity!

Misshapen chaos of well seeming forms! Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold

fire, sick health! Still-waking sleep, that is not what it is!

This love I feel, that feel no love in this? Are you laughing?

Crabbe: No, I'm crying.

Draco: Liar. 

Crabbe: I'm laughing at the fact you can quote that muggle playwright we

studied about in Muggle Studies. But I am crying.

Draco: At what?

Crabbe: At they good heart's oppression. *snrk*

Draco: Why such is love's transgression. Griefs of mine own live heavy in

my chest, Which thou wilt propagate to have it prest. With more of thine:

this love that thou hast shown, doth add more grief to too much of mine

own. Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs; being purged, a fire

sparkling in lovers' eyes; from love's weak childish bow he lives unharmed.

He will not stay the siege of loving terms, Nor bide the encounter of

assailing eyes, Nor open his lap to saint-seducing gold. O, he is rich in

beauty, only poor, That when he dies, with beauty dies his store.

Crabbe: He's still a virgin!

Draco: Yes, and he's letting it go to waste. 

Crabbe: Be ruled by me, forget him.

Draco: [lewd smile] Teach me.

Crabbe: Check out other people. There's more fish in the sea.

Draco: Good idea! Let's go!

Crabbe: I'll live up to that challenge, or I'll die in debt.

[They go]

End of Act 1 Scene 1


	3. Default Chapter Title

WARNING: This fic contains implied m/m sex. I do not want ANY emails telling me how you don't like this kind of stuff. If you do not like it, don't read the damn story. It's that simple. Honestly, if you don't like this stuff, and read it anyways… well, that just makes you an idiot if you flame me. All flames will be met with Hanson mp3s of "MMMBop". If you can't say something intelligent, keep your mouth shut. I have no tolerance for flames.

Act I Scene II

[Enter Sirius, Cedric, and a house elf]

Sirius: But Severus is bound as well, is he not? It shouldn't be

so 

hard for men as old as we to keep the peace.

Cedric: You are both honorable, and I'm sorry you've hated

each other 

so long, but what are you trying to say?

Sirius: I'm saying what I've said before; Harry is yet a

stranger to 

the world. He has not seen change in 17 years. Give him two more 

summers, then he shall be ready to be married. 

Cedric: Boys younger than him have been married happily.

Sirius: And those who were made so early are so early marred. He is 

my only hope, my pride and joy. Woo him, Cedric, get his heart. If he 

agrees, we'll announce it at dinner tonight… oh yeah. I

wonder if 

Remus forgot about that… [hands the house elf a piece of paper]

Go 

find these people, and tell them there's a party, my place, 6:00.

[They go]

[Enter Crabbe and Draco]

Crabbe: [reading from a book] Tut, man, one fire burns out

another's 

burning, One pain is lessened by another's anguish; Turn giddy,

and 

be holp by backward turning; One desperate grief cures with

another's 

languish; Take thou some new infection to thy eye, And the rank 

poisen of the old will die. Why do we even have to learn this stuff?

Draco: Because Our Master says that it may come in handy, to study 

the muggles, if ever he has a mission for us where we need to blend 

in. After all, we are to take over when our fathers are dead and 

gone. Next spring… Christmas break… Father's giving me to

him as a 

gift… I shall be a most valuable asset, according to them…

hmph. Oh, 

what are we going to do? I'm not ready for this… and then

him… he's 

so lovely. Think he'd come to me if I asked him to?

Crabbe: Who IS this guy you've become most taken with?

Draco: It's someone. 

[A servant approaches them]

Servant: Hey, if you're not Slytherin, there's a party

tonight at 

Black's place, 6:00.

Crabbe: Who's going?

Servant: Dumbledore, McGonagall and sisters, the widow of Privet 

Drive, Flitwick and his lovely nieces, Professor Sinistra and Fred, 

and Uncle Black. You know, their usual gang. 

Draco:[considers it for a moment] All right we'll be there. 

Servant: Groovy. 

[ambles off]

Crabbe: At this feast of Gryffindor will be the beautiful Weasley who 

you've fallen for. Let's go, and pick up some chicks.

[Draco grins evilly] 

Crabbe: Oh no. Please don't!

Draco: When the devout religion of mine eye

Maintains such falsehood then turn tears to fire!

And these, who, often drowned, could never die, 

Transparent heretics, be burnt for liars!

One fairer than my love! The all-seeing sun

Never saw his match since first the world begun.

Crabbe: Why me?

[Exuent.]

End Scene II


	4. Default Chapter Title

WARNING: This fic contains implied m/m sex. I do not want ANY emails telling me how you don't like this kind of stuff. If you do not like it, don't read the damn story. It's that simple. Honestly, if you don't like this stuff, and read it anyways… well, that just makes you an idiot if you flame me. All flames will be met with Hanson mp3s of "MMMBop". If you can't say something intelligent, keep your mouth shut. I have no tolerance for flames.

[Scene: a room in Gryffindor Tower. Enter Remus and Madam Pomphry.]

Remus: Madam, where's my godson? Tell him to come to me.

MP (Madam Pomphry): Now young man at 15 years old, I'll go get him. 

God forbid, where is that boy?! Harry!

[Enter Harry]

Harry: What?

MP: Remus wishes a word with you.

Harry: I'm here. What do you want? I won't polish any more floors for 

you. I'm not Cinderella. Cinderella was a girl who wore silly 

dresses. I don't wear dresses. Whatever it is, get Dobby to do it. 

[turns to leave]

Remus: No, Harry. That is not it. Go away MP, I must speak with 

Harry… wait, come back. You may stay. You know this boy's at a 

handsome age.

MP: I can tell his age to an hour. 

Remus: He's not 16. 

MP: He's not? 

Harry: No.

Remus: Who said this was your conversation?

Harry: If it's about me…

Remus: Shut up. Yes, MP.

MP: Yes he is 16? You lied?

Remus: He… what? No! You shut up too. I have important things to say 

to this boy.

MP: What, you want me to shut up and be merry about it?

Remus: Yes, be merry. Um, Harry, `marry' is the thing I came to speak 

with you of. Tell me, how stands your disposition to be married?

Harry: Don't even try it.

Remus: Well, think of marriage no. Here in England, boys of esteem 

are already fathers. The valiant Hagrid seeks you for his love.

[Harry sputters a bit and then faints]

MP: I think that's a no.

[Enter the same servant from last time.]

Servant: Madam, everyone's here. Wake the boy. Are you coming down?

Remus: [points his wand at Harry] Enervate. We're coming as soon as 

Harry changes out of his rags.

Harry: [glares and sits up] I hate you.

[Exuent.]

End scene III


	5. Default Chapter Title

WARNING: This fic contains implied m/m sex. I do not want ANY emails telling me how you don't like this kind of stuff. If you do not like it, don't read the damn story. It's that simple. Honestly, if you don't like this stuff, and read it anyways… well, that just makes you an idiot if you flame me. All flames will be met with Hanson mp3s of "MMMBop". If you can't say something intelligent, keep your mouth shut. I have no tolerance for flames.

AN: Sorry this scene's so short. It's meant to be funny, but… oh well.

Feedback is welcome!

Scene IV

[Scene: A street. Enter Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle, along with a handful of

torch bearers, because their a bunch of lazy scums who refuse to carry the

torches themselves (No, not the torchbearers!)]

Draco: What's our excuse going to be? Or should we just not apologize?

Crabbe: No. Not apologize.

Draco: 'Kay. Give me a torch, I'm sick of just ambling. Being so heavy,

I'll carry the light.

Goyle: You're not heavy, Draco. You only weigh-

Draco: Shut up! Give me the torch!

Goyle: Sorry, Draco, but you have to dance.

Draco: No. You have the dancing shoes. I have a soul of lead, and it pins

me to the ground… so I can't dance.

Crabbe: I thought we weren't going to make up excuses?

Draco: You can be quiet as well!

Goyle: You are a lover and a dreamer. Borrow Cupid's wings, I'm sure he'll

lend 'em to ya'!

Draco: He hit me with his arrows. I'm not going near Cupid, he shoved an

arrow up my ass!

Crabbe: Oh did love make you this tender?

Goyle: He's not dinner.

Draco: Is love a tender thing? It is too rough, too rude, too boisterous,

and it pricks like thorns. 

Goyle: You only hurt the ones you- OW!

Crabbe: [pushes Goyle away from Draco] If love be rough with you, be rough

with love.

Draco: I had a dream.

Goyle: So did I.

Crabbe: I don't want to hear about fairies.

Goyle: No, not fairies!

Draco: Just tell us about it!

Goyle: I dreamt that dreamers often lie.

Draco: [blinks] Wow. That was deep.

Goyle: There was this Fairy, and she was a midwife, and she was really

tiny. She carried a whip made of crickets…

Draco: That's quite enough from you. You speak of nothing.

Goyle: True, I talk of dreams, which is as thin a substance as the air, and

twice as cold.

Crabbe: This wind you speak of blows from us. Supper is done! Come on,

we'll be late!

Draco: Alright you lusty gentlemen, let's go!

[Exuent]

End Scene IV


End file.
